It’s really grating to relive the most infuriating cinematic experiences of the year. So I’ve decided that my warnings against these deplorable acts of cinema will be five words or less.


1. The Canyons

Exploitative, cannibalistic non-cinema.


2. Identity Thief

Painfully unfunny.


3. After Earth 

Multi-million dollar home movie.


4. Jobs

Biopic by Wikipedia.


5. Kick Ass 2

Undoes the original’s brilliance


6. Olympus Has Fallen

Filibuster action nonsense.


7. The Sweeney

Plagiarism patchwork.


8. Jack the Giant Slayer

Caught between camp and crap.


9. Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

Steam(ing pile of garbage) punk


10. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

Mythological Harry Potter pretender.

Blake Howard - follow Blake on Twitter here: @blakeisbatman and listen to legacy audio reviews on That Movie Show 2UE here or on top-rating film podcast Pod Save Our Screen, available now on iTunes.

Blake Howard is a writer, a podcaster, the editor-in-chief & co-founder of Australian film blog Graffiti With Punctuation. Beginning his criticism APPRENTICESHIP as co-host of That Movie Show 2UE, Blake is now a member of the prestigious Online Film Critic Society, sways the Tomato Meter with Rotten Tomatoes approved reviews. See his articulated words and shrieks (mostly) here at and with & 2SER Sydney weekly on Gaggle of Geeks.