And the Academy Award goes to... not Nicholas Sparks. Never Nicholas Sparks. The Patron Douchebag of true love - but only when it's between two white, heterosexual people - is back with the tenth film based on his written work. Yes, we've had ten movies of the exact same bullshit featuring all the usual hallmarks of a Nicholas Sparks' tearjerker. The Longest Ride, however, is quite possibly the worst of all them and yes, we understand that's like trying to decide who the worst Nazi was (hint: they were all awful). Thankfully Graffiti With Punctuation's Maria Lewis took a bullet for us all, live-tweeting the frontrunner for next year's Razzies so you don't have to. Yeehaw. TLR Norm 2